It’s 2021. By now we all know that most wedding traditions, from the lifting of the veil to the bouquet and garter toss, are rooted in patriarchy, heteronormativity, and weird, outdated superstitions about marriage. But when it comes to even the most modern of modern ceremonies, one rule still reigns supreme: Wedding guests do not wear white (or any of its variations). It’s tied to the idea that the spotlight should be on the bride’s own white gown (itself a tradition dating way back to Queen Victoria). Questionable ideas about purity and virginity aside, wearing white to someone else’s nuptials seems like an obvious no-no.