During the wedding planning process, we brides have tons of resources to hit up to help us figure out how to make the day perfect and personal, but to be honest, men often get shafted when it comes to wedding prep. And many guys these days really want to be involved in all of the wedding planning details (it is their day too, after all), so the millennial-focused suit and tuxedo rental site, The Black Tux, set out to make a guide just for them. They cover tons of style questions (dress codes, color pairings) but also everything from writing your own vows to picking a best man. “We feel like our mission is giving information about how to be present, be engaged, and be an active participant,” Zach Frachette, editorial director of The Black Tux says.
We’ve compiled some of our favorite tips from the guide, and while Zach notes there are no hard-and-fast rules (well, there is one—see below), there are some great things for grooms and brides to take note of.
1. You must have an open bar.
This is the only non-negotiable rule The Black Tux supports. Plus, as they tell us, there’s an open bar idea for every budget (pre-selected cocktails, pre-mixed self-serve drinks, self-serve beers on tap).
2. Ranking the people in your life is only appropriate when picking groomsmen.
Sit down and make a list, rank your friends and turn anyone after #5 into an usher (or just cut). This is tough, but the quickest way to figure out your bridal party.
3. Stand your ground on your guest list.
As the guide says, “Family doesn’t have to be twice removed to be removed from your guest list.” Surround yourself with people who are important to you, and remember, it’s your and your partner’s wedding. No one else’s.
4. Make your first dance original.
The song you pick should have a special meaning to you and your partner (and be appropriate—double check those lyrics) but also try to avoid picking expected songs that your guests have undoubtedly seen people dance to time and time again.
5. Use the rehearsal dinner to your advantage.
Most people don’t even really rehearse at these dinners anymore, but definitely take this night to get facetime with close family and friends, since on your actual wedding day, you won’t be able to spend a ton of time with any one person.